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Ilene Proctor | June 15, 2023

Trump's Secret Resume Discovered

Plus his Living Will revealed: 'SCATTER MY ASHES IN TIFFANY'S

by Ilene Proctor

Background image of Trump's Resume

Name: Donald Trump

Qualification: Supremely white with a marvelous mango hue

Education: Marquis de Sade Prep School. Trump University, Graduate WTF Degree Plus a BS in  Malapropism and an honorary mention by Baron Munchausen


the Real POTUS

Profile: I Pride myself as a practicing pragmatist: “Do what thou wilt”  and “love thine self “ are my credos. I am best known for my pride, carnality, Enlightened Sadism and cruelty towards children, liberty and justice for some and God-endowed defiled wisdom. I credit my iconic mentors for all my brown-nosing skills to the ever-divine Evangelicals, and New York’s most shunned lawyer: Roy Cohn, not to be distinguished  from that disloyal lout ex-lawyer of mine, Michael Cohen, and my darling Jeffrey Epstein who taught me how to party hardy.

Motivating Principles: My Guiding principle is that children, especially brown and black children, are innately rudderless and careless who  respond best to aggressive and enlightened force as part of their daily care. These children are secretly sexual and are aching to act on these impulses. So I provide them with skilled guidance counselors to enhance their innate desires All of them are asking to change their gender and their historic party affiliation.  Why everyone knows and sez that the GOP really know how to party, except for the RINOS.

Experience: Because I have an  immaculate Swedish  white heritage which is why I was so  brilliantly qualified to be the 45th President of the United States forever, hereafter to be known as his Serene Highness, the Royal Order of the Girdle and Garter and Sir Lord Donald J Trump. I serve our Principal Morgan Chase to fight the democratic sharks in the deep state, the unrequited Republicans deep in the swamp, and every beautiful dame I can get my hands on.

Best friend and Mah-Jongg partner: Walt Nauta

Secret crush:  Walt Nauta

Best child: Ivanka

Best number: 45

Best Clothing designer: The KKK

Best Book: Our Kamph by me

Best Nickname: Dung Master

Favorite hobby:  The Good Old Days of the Confederacy game and Wheel of my Fortune

Mobile Contact: 202 666-6666

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